Health and Safety

A friend of mine who teaches music to young adults gives a lecture on safety once a year as part of the course. He stresses the importance of having the electrician's sticker (pictured) on each piece of kit. The week following one of these lectures a student came in with a sheet of the labels, carefully recreated in Photoshop and printed onto sticky paper. These he was gaily distributing these to his classmates. While his ingenuity is admirable I suspect he may have rather missed the point. (I should stress that all Eastern Straynotes stickers are genuine and up to date.)

My own belief is that the UK's attitude to health and safety, largely driven by a blame culture and an increasingly litigious population, is stifling. This is especially so with regard to children who seem destined to suffocate in cotton wool.

However, I must admit that life as a performing musician is far safer than it once was. On-stage electrocutions are now extremely rare. This is partly because of more reliable equipment designed with better safety features, and partly due to regular safety checks. The band I play in has all it's electrical equipment checked by a qualified electrician once a year. This was initially because some venues insist on seeing the paperwork but now, for my own peace of mind, I wouldn't be without it.

Dead Kitten Update

Last week's trip to Wells was an opportunity to use my Dead Kitten (see post for 20th April) in conjunction with my Zoom H4 recording device. I wanted to interview as many children as possible about the work they were doing - art based inspired by Andy Goldsworthy. Although there'll never be time to turn the photos and sound files into a son et lumière production I find it very interesting to hear what the kids have to say. Having the microphone usually focuses their minds and is good experience for them. I can also assure my paymasters that I am gathering 'evidence'.

Playing back the sound files, the Dead Kitten seems to have done its job well. It was fairly still in the trees last week but it doesn't take much of a breeze to interfere with the proper working of a sensitive microphone. Tomorrow is the big test: Mundesley beach, wind from the east, recording seaside sounds as a backing for some poetry. The poems in question have been written by children of seven and eight and I'll be recording them reading them too - but indoors.

Instrument etiquette

Why are so many instruments in schools in such poor condition? I have heard poor storage facilities cited as an excuse and, while there is certainly some truth in that, I believe the problem has a cultural basis. Why? Because from the time I went to high school, and was first exposed to instruments that were neither pianos nor pictures on record sleeves, I have come across instruments that have been mistreated and misunderstood regardless of the space given over to their storage. Like social attitudes to death, sex, children, gender, race and class the prevailing attitude to musical instruments will take time to change. If we want to see that change in our lifetimes we must start now.

Those of us familiar with gamelan music will know that the term 'gamelan orchestra' refers not to the musicians, who come and go during a performance, but to the instruments in a particular set. Each gamelan has a soul that resides in the large gong, 'gong ageng', of which there is one in every set. The instruments of a set are all made at the same time and their tuning, taken from gong ageng, is unique to that orchestra. When the orchestra is ready it is inaugurated with much ceremony. The gamelan is used in religious and social rituals and is accorded due reverence. Children grow up respecting the instruments of the orchestra and this attitude has endured for generations.

I am certainly not suggesting a cult of musical instrument worship. I know many musicians who have a very close relationship with their chosen instrument but this is more akin to that between craftsmen and their tools. But ask any carpenter why tools are abused and they will tell you it is a lack of proper education. A carpenter only looks after the tools of the trade. A music teacher, on the other hand, looks after a lot of instruments they don't play and possibly don't even like. But they must still treat them with respect and teach that respect to their students and colleagues who will learn best by example.

So what brought this on? I gave a workshop in an infant school the other day and neglected to lay down the ground rules. Fortunately the children were very well behaved but I was forever playing catch-up in terms of conveying what was acceptable behaviour. So, to remind myself, I will list some below. Please feel free to add to them.

1. Treat the instruments with respect, they are expensive
2. Wait until an instrument is passed to you, never try to take one from someone else
3. Explore the instruments to see what sounds they can make but don't treat them roughly
4. Place instruments carefully on the floor (or table) when you've finished with them, never drop or throw them
5. Walk around the instruments, never try to step over them (Stepping over a gamelan instrument is considered a mark of disrespect bordering on sacrilege. The rule prevents damage to instruments and players alike.)
6. At then end of the session, put the instruments away properly

It always surprises me how many secondary school children (and indeed adults) demonstrate a lack of awareness of any of the above. Either they were never exposed to instruments in their first years at school or they were set a poor example. There's a sense in which the music department/cupboard resembling the physics lab would be no bad thing.

My new cuddly toy

Do you enjoy buying new bits of kit? It would appear most of us do and when we feel the urge but can't afford a major item, we go for something minor instead. I used to wonder, when I began taking music seriously, why music shops are full of rulers, rubbers and post-its adorned with clefs, staves and all manner of hackneyed puns: Gone Chopin, Bach in five Minuets (sorry). Having met a fair number of heads of music over the years I realise they are nearly all stationery fixated and the novelty music-themed mug is a must. The answer to their reliance on retail therapy? Increase their budget so they can afford to buy something real.

My latest purchase is a 'Dead Kitten'. The name amused me as a 'dead cat' is the name horn players give to the fluffy pad-saver they stick down their saxophones after playing. My beloved Buescher Aristocrat (pictured) is modelling one. The Kitten, however, is a bag of long-haired, synthetic material with an elasticated opening, designed to fit over the end of a Rode NT4 (below), which is a stereo microphone. It reduces wind noise, making outdoor recordings possible. Even in a light breeze the action of air on a microphone, especially one of high quality, can ruin a recording as it obliterates all other sound.



Happily the Dead Kitten also fits over the end of my Zoom H4 hand-held recorder. More on that machine another time but it's enough to know that its poorly thought out wind shield blew away on its first outing.

Today was unusually still in my neck of the woods but initial tests suggest the Kitten makes a real difference. With summer on the way there'll be plenty of opportunity to find its limitations.

And now I'm sure you'd like to know how much I paid for five square inches of nylon-backed fake fur and a sort strip of elastic. What was my karmic punishment for being so superior about kitsch mugs and cheesy stationery? Well, including manufacture, delivery and VAT, a cool £25.19. But, before you laugh, I could have much more. OK, now you can laugh. I just hope it brings me at least as much pleasure as your over-priced, Mozart fridge magnet.